Open Letter: Conan O’Brien Orlando Response

Dear Conan O’Brien,

I watched your assault weapons ban speech (bottom of page). You should have kept your mouth shut for just a little bit longer and stuck to a comedy routine. This is why:

1 – There’s no such thing as a semi-automatic assault rifle. Assault was a political term invented to refer to fully-automatic weapons. A semi-automatic weapon fires one round, for every one pull of the trigger, no matter how long you hold down that trigger. Fully-automatics will fire until you run out of ammunition (from whatever source you’re using), or until the rifle breaks or becomes difficult hold without melting your hand. Also, the gun jamming or breaking is likely if you’re just trying to be like Rambo, holding down the trigger, emptying as many 100 round mags as fast as possible.

2 – Those scary, black “semi-automatic assault rifles” you speak of are no different than many standard “hunting” rifles. I’ve held a 1942 M1 Carbine that functions as a semi-auto and would have most likely resulted in the same death toll, if it was used against the unarmed civilians at Pulse Nightclub. Also, most hunting rifles are semi-autos, and use a more powerful ammunition than AR-15s. These rifles can kill just as many people, just as fast, and are just as assaulty (new word). The only real, huge differences are that hunting rifles are usually wooden on the outside, rather than a scary black metal, and they differ cosmetically from an AR-15 style rifle.

3 – Concerning murders in which a semi-automatic AR-style rifle was used, there are few. Rifles, as a whole, accounted for 248 of the 6,165 murders by firearms in 2014, where the type of gun used was recorded. So, about 4% of all murders by firearm are done with rifles, while handguns account for about 90%. Of course, handguns are usually used by blacks shooting other blacks in places like Chicago, Baltimore, and Detroit, something your leftists friends don’t like to talk about. On top of that, this 4% is ALL rifles, not just what you referred to as “semi-automatic assault rifles.” A lot (probably a substantial majority) of rifles used to murder people in 2014 were not AR-15 style rifles, but rather your grandpa’s hunting rifle. This is important because it means that 4% could be chopped down quite a bit further.

4 – Leftist idiots, like yourself, keep saying “weapons of war.” Yes, AR-15s, although not used in war themselves, were modeled after “weapons of war.” The M16 is a weapon of war. That M1 Carbine I mentioned above is a weapon of war. Muskets were weapons of war. Guess what? Frickin’ handguns are weapons of war. In fact, lots of knives sold down at your local Academy are weapons of war. If weapons of war is the standard, you don’t want an AR-15 ban. You want all guns banned.

5 – Handguns can kill just as fast, using just as many rounds as an AR-15. Would an AR-15, or a semi-auto “hunting” rifle, be more efficient in most cases? Probably. But it’s also less obvious whose shooting if you’re using a handgun in a crowded nightclub. One might argue, in the case of Mateen, that he would have been able to kill more people with a few handguns and a bunch of extended magazines. You won’t be having that argument anytime soon, though. Because you know as much about guns as Michael Moore and Alan Grayson. You wouldn’t be able to come up with a coherent argument for either side.

6 – Mass shootings are not more prevalent now than they were in previous decades. The number of murders by firearms has decreased almost every year over the last 20 plus years. In 2005, total murders by firearms in the US was 10,158. In 2014, total murders by firearms was 8,124. That’s a 20% decrease of murders by firearms in nine years. By the way, nearing the end of the 10-year Clinton assault weapon & high-capacity magazine ban (2004), murders by firearms were at 11,345. This means, at the end of a 10-year ban on assault weapons & high capacity magazines to the first year without such bans, we saw about a 10% decrease in murders by firearms. Logic, facts, and data say the assault weapons ban didn’t work.

7 – You’re spewing nonsensical gun-control arguments while standing in a studio packed with armed guards. That means people with guns are protecting you, and I wouldn’t be surprised if they had scary, black AR-15 rifles on certain occasions. Spare me the lecture on guns, and be thankful for the “good guys with guns” spread throughout your studio. Go talk to them! They probably see your ignorance, too. They would probably like to take you to the range and teach you a little about guns, so you can stop being a ignorant fool.

8 – Finally, you say, “I have tried to understand this issue from every side.” Uh… It’s abundantly clear that you have not. If you have, you really suck at trying. Otherwise you wouldn’t have gone on stage and made a bunch of moronic, inaccurate claims, while being cheered on by a bunch of leftist sheep.

Conan O’Brien, in your own words, “it’s time to grow up,” and stop using your feelings as an excuse to make inaccurate claims about subjects of which you know nothing.